My Precious Ass Husband

His wise words have been quoted on this blog before, it’s now time for an introduction of sorts.

2020 was supposed to be our wedding celebration, our first year of marriage, and our first year without a full fledged long-distance relationship but 2020 had different plans for everyone. After a long year of Jarrod working abroad and being stuck abroad, he is finally home. We are officially kicking off our first year of marriage… a year late… with his birthday, a partial home remodel, new in-laws, new nieces and nephews, and Christmas time.

So, let me tell you about my precious ass husband.

Driveway tailgating during the partial remodel.

The easiest way to describe him is to take you through a day in his life. His birthday earlier this month was almost the essence of who this guy is. Jarrod is a smart-assy food lover, cat magnet, dog lover, handyman, and chaotic chooser. He’s also a teddy bear that’s always down to watch animated kid movies and shows with me.

Just a week after landing, we had already torn up our carpet and tile to lay down flooring, started redoing trim and installing new lighting before taking a break on his birthday. While I slept in, he sang to the cats after he chased them down them after they broke out of the house, and had a snuggle with the dogs on the couch (Murphy never leaves the couch so this is really the only place we ever need to look for Murphy cuddles).

Once I woke up, we made a day of binge watching She-Ra and the Princesses of Power on Netflix, buying matching Yetis, gin for our Yetis, and getting five different cheesecakes since he couldn’t decide. He couldn’t decide exactly what to do for a birthday dinner either that night so we had endless shrampies at Red Lobster the very next night; don’t have to decide which shrimp dinner when you can have them all.

All the cheesecakes.

On most of his other days, the handyman forgets where he’s left his flathead or that he has change in his pockets. The cat magnet is forcing snuggles onto a screaming Mango cat. The chaotic chooser is taking about seven business years to choose a new truck or tool chest. The dog lover is having a disagreement with a mouthy Jazzy at dinnertime. He also leans into dad fashion and dad jokes as if he already has kids. The food lover is eating dairy like he isn’t lactose-intolerant and eating flaccid bacon.

Before being mistaken for someone’s dad at Beer Fest.

Jarrod is generous, adventurous, and hilarious. He has endless patience for my smart-assery but zero patience for his cellphone.

We may be starting our first year of marriage a year late but we are excited to get to know each other in a whole new way. While I lose my mind over finding more loose change in the bathroom.

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